Communicate with intention for better conversations

Communication is everywhere. It shapes how we work, build relationships, and solve problems. But let’s be honest — it’s not always easy. Sometimes, even with the best intentions, conversations can go off track.

That’s where two simple ideas can help: ‘everything is an offer’ and ‘aligned intention’.

Though from different fields — improv theatre and workplace communication — both share a common theme: openness and perspective.

Everything Is an Offer

In improv theatre, performers are taught that whatever happens on stage is an offer. You take what’s given and run with it. If you’re on stage during a scene, and someone says, “Morning, doctor,” you could respond with, “I’m not a doctor!”.

Normally that would shut the conversation down. But in improv, it’s not shutting things down - it’s opening a new door! Maybe they mistook you for a doctor, or maybe you’re both imposters in a hospital – the options are endless.

Whichever direction the scene goes, you now have a more interesting story to play with than a standard back-and-forth.

This mindset applies to everyday communication. When someone reacts in unexpected ways to what we say - whether with anger, confusion, or something completely left-field - it’s easy to feel defensive.

But what if we saw their response as an offer rather than a challenge?

For example, if a comment upsets someone, we’ve just learned something valuable about what matters to them. Instead of getting defensive, we can treat it as insight: Ah, this struck a nerve. Why is that? How do we move forward?

When we stop seeing conversations as battles and start seeing them as offers of information, communication becomes more productive, open, and creative.

Aligned Intentions

We judge ourselves by our intentions, but we judge others by their impact. That’s why misunderstandings happen! We assume people know where we’re coming from, when really they’re just reacting to what we say. Sounds obvious in theory, but tricky to remember in the moment!

Take feedback, for example.

In theory, it’s useful. It helps us grow. But the phrase “Can I give you some feedback?” can make anyone tense up. It rarely feels like a gift, even if that’s how it’s meant.

That’s why intention matters. Before giving feedback, take a step back and ask yourself: What am I actually trying to do here?

Shifting your mindset to ‘this is a conversation about helping someone be better’, immediately changes the tone.

It moves the discussion from confrontation to collaboration.

If the goal is to help someone improve, then the tone and framing should reflect that. Instead of just pointing out mistakes, focus on how the conversation can be productive.

The same applies when we’re on the receiving end of a request.

Imagine your manager asks you to complete a task as soon as possible. You’re swamped, so you reply, “I’m too busy right now.”  That’s the truth, but it might sound aggressive. Your manager might start worrying: “Are they being difficult? Do they not respect me?”

But if you take a moment to consider your own intention — ensuring the job is done well — you can respond differently. Instead of saying “I’m too busy,” you might say:

“I want to make sure this is done properly, but I don’t have time to give it the attention it needs. Can we discuss how to prioritise it?”

Now, instead of creating tension, you’ve created a shared goal. You both want the work done well. That simple shift changes everything.

Bringing It All Together

Both ideas come down to one thing: Great conversations aren’t about winning. They’re about understanding.

• When a conversation doesn’t go as expected, we can ask: What’s the offer here?

• When a disagreement arises, we can consider: Are our deeper intentions actually aligned?

Most of the time, they are. And when we communicate with that in mind, we don’t just avoid conflict - we build better, stronger conversations.